Hi there my fellow creatures of the night!
This time I don't feel on writing about anything illuminating,
I just want to use writing to rid my body of all the sadness I feel.
I can't even start to grasp the vastess of this melancholy, and I shouldn't even be writing about it. But I must. My father taught me to let go of frustration any way that I can, and right now, this is the best I can do.
A few days ago, my maid told me she had to go home on an emergency because somebody had vandalized her house and taken her stuff. "Poor soul", I thought. "These people work very hard to make ends meet and now everything she has every saved as been taken from her."
The moment I heard that I felt as though I had been stabbed in the heart. My maid is a very nice person, she lives in my house with her three kids (all of them in one room). Her three kids are all from different fathers, and even though they have been living unstable lives throughout their existance, now, while living in that small room in the basement of my home, they live a happy existance as a family. They spend on nothing (as they have free room and board), the boy goes to a school near here, the oldest daughter works at a nearby pharmacy, and the youngest one (a 15 month old child), plays throughout my house the entire day. So, needless to say, they live a very happy existance.
People have criticized me often for giving this kind of aid (and I confess I have second guessed myself more than once), but I have always been of the idea that when we are well off, we must do whatever we can to help the community, and in some strange way, helping this struggling family has helped me in my life. I am happy to see them happy, and I am happy to see them living as a family (the eldest daughter is going to be married soon).
So, to get back on track, this last sunday the maid gets a call that her house back in her home town (about a 90 minute drive from where I live), had been burglarized. I told her to leave and to go home to see what she could do (she was in tears - and I was getting there-), that hopefully nothing had happened, but I knew that there was no turning back.
I consider myself a good man, and I pay her a good salary apart from the free room and board, and this salary has allowed her to purchase things that were normally above her social scale (a computer, television, DVD player, celular telephones, cameras and a refrigerator).
But somehow, the bad guys always prevail.... and by the way, I am already in tears while I write this... God I feel so bad about this.
As it turns out, they were robbed, everything they owned was taken from them. The television, computer, DVD player... everything except the refrigerator. Their house had been vandalised and everything they had achieved and everything they had done to rise above their former social status had disappeared. And what made it even worse was the fact that they had purchased everything via deffered payments, and now they are still going to have to pay for them.
I try to think and compare this event to my own life and reflect on what would I do if everything I had worked for with my own sweat had been taken from me. Think about it, it's a very sad and frustrating feeling. I feel very bad for them, and bad that I can't do anything more for the family living downstairs... a family that survives thanks to their hard work and thanks to the fact that there are still decent human beings out there that won't deny a family to be together.
Now, all they have done has disappeared... it's a tragedy. And it's not something that happened miles away, it's something that happened right here in my own home, with people that live in this house. I feel frustrated, and I feel sad. They were just playing the hand they were dealt, working their asses of to rise above their condition. And now, it's all gone... it's all gone and there's nothing they can do about it. They want to find the burglars and bring them to justice, but she doesn't want to risk her children's lives. And she's right. It's not worth it.
And I keep thinking to myself, why did this happen? I can't come up with a conclusion except that they are living in an area filled with people who are far worse off than they are, and they decided they were going to take everything from them. And that's what they did.
I cannot grasp with words how sorry I am for them. I truly am. I am moved, I am frustrated... in fact, I am so frustrated I can't even look at them in the eye, I can't spend money on anything out of solidarity, and I am punishing myself because I see them suffering. And I shouldn't punish myself. But I just can't help it.
I need to bring them back what they lost. My sister is changing computers soon, and I will give them hers when she switches, I will give the one of my DVD players, I will give them the Television set they have in their room here at my house, I will give them a celular phone I have here that I don't use, and will give them an old camera I have never used. They need them more than I do, and I really want to see them happy again.
You must know that I am not normally a religious man and I rarely pray, but now, after what happened, I very much feel like praying for them, and I will now...
That is all my friends, I just wanted to share this with you guys...
I'll see you in the future,
Happy Hunting,
"I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me."
The WikiVampire
This time I don't feel on writing about anything illuminating,
I just want to use writing to rid my body of all the sadness I feel.
I can't even start to grasp the vastess of this melancholy, and I shouldn't even be writing about it. But I must. My father taught me to let go of frustration any way that I can, and right now, this is the best I can do.
A few days ago, my maid told me she had to go home on an emergency because somebody had vandalized her house and taken her stuff. "Poor soul", I thought. "These people work very hard to make ends meet and now everything she has every saved as been taken from her."
The moment I heard that I felt as though I had been stabbed in the heart. My maid is a very nice person, she lives in my house with her three kids (all of them in one room). Her three kids are all from different fathers, and even though they have been living unstable lives throughout their existance, now, while living in that small room in the basement of my home, they live a happy existance as a family. They spend on nothing (as they have free room and board), the boy goes to a school near here, the oldest daughter works at a nearby pharmacy, and the youngest one (a 15 month old child), plays throughout my house the entire day. So, needless to say, they live a very happy existance.
People have criticized me often for giving this kind of aid (and I confess I have second guessed myself more than once), but I have always been of the idea that when we are well off, we must do whatever we can to help the community, and in some strange way, helping this struggling family has helped me in my life. I am happy to see them happy, and I am happy to see them living as a family (the eldest daughter is going to be married soon).
So, to get back on track, this last sunday the maid gets a call that her house back in her home town (about a 90 minute drive from where I live), had been burglarized. I told her to leave and to go home to see what she could do (she was in tears - and I was getting there-), that hopefully nothing had happened, but I knew that there was no turning back.
I consider myself a good man, and I pay her a good salary apart from the free room and board, and this salary has allowed her to purchase things that were normally above her social scale (a computer, television, DVD player, celular telephones, cameras and a refrigerator).
But somehow, the bad guys always prevail.... and by the way, I am already in tears while I write this... God I feel so bad about this.
As it turns out, they were robbed, everything they owned was taken from them. The television, computer, DVD player... everything except the refrigerator. Their house had been vandalised and everything they had achieved and everything they had done to rise above their former social status had disappeared. And what made it even worse was the fact that they had purchased everything via deffered payments, and now they are still going to have to pay for them.
I try to think and compare this event to my own life and reflect on what would I do if everything I had worked for with my own sweat had been taken from me. Think about it, it's a very sad and frustrating feeling. I feel very bad for them, and bad that I can't do anything more for the family living downstairs... a family that survives thanks to their hard work and thanks to the fact that there are still decent human beings out there that won't deny a family to be together.
Now, all they have done has disappeared... it's a tragedy. And it's not something that happened miles away, it's something that happened right here in my own home, with people that live in this house. I feel frustrated, and I feel sad. They were just playing the hand they were dealt, working their asses of to rise above their condition. And now, it's all gone... it's all gone and there's nothing they can do about it. They want to find the burglars and bring them to justice, but she doesn't want to risk her children's lives. And she's right. It's not worth it.
And I keep thinking to myself, why did this happen? I can't come up with a conclusion except that they are living in an area filled with people who are far worse off than they are, and they decided they were going to take everything from them. And that's what they did.
I cannot grasp with words how sorry I am for them. I truly am. I am moved, I am frustrated... in fact, I am so frustrated I can't even look at them in the eye, I can't spend money on anything out of solidarity, and I am punishing myself because I see them suffering. And I shouldn't punish myself. But I just can't help it.
I need to bring them back what they lost. My sister is changing computers soon, and I will give them hers when she switches, I will give the one of my DVD players, I will give them the Television set they have in their room here at my house, I will give them a celular phone I have here that I don't use, and will give them an old camera I have never used. They need them more than I do, and I really want to see them happy again.
You must know that I am not normally a religious man and I rarely pray, but now, after what happened, I very much feel like praying for them, and I will now...
That is all my friends, I just wanted to share this with you guys...
I'll see you in the future,
Happy Hunting,
"I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me."
The WikiVampire
No comments:
Post a Comment